Melbourne Coffee Sucks

Well, we’re back from our Launceston jaunt, and we’re all full of art, music, good food, nature, and of course tasty espresso! In the past few days I’ve had the privilege of being able to swan about in a beautiful area I hadn’t visited before, tasting delectable things and sampling interesting brews. Read on for the down-low on this Tasmanian town!

The first thing we noticed as new arrivals in Launceston was how loud the roads were. Initially we thought it was maybe just the one evening, but as the days went by we realised there must be an enormous market opportunity down in Launceston: nobody has exhaust mufflers! I’m sure you’d make a killing importing them. But yeah, lots of really loud vehicles of all descriptions hooning about. We also noticed that compared to Melbourne, it was much more likely to have youngsters hanging out of the car window shouting obscenities at you. But maybe that’s just because we look weird. Because we were down for the MONA FOMA festival, after all.

Anyway, once you survive the ear-splitting muffler-free vehicles and the occasional friendly local yelling out of their window at you,¹² it actually seems like a really pleasant place! We had lots of very tasty food, and there’s excellent nature just a stone’s throw away. Did a lot of that too. But you don’t care about that, do you? You’re here for the coffee.

Just one more digression though. First we couldn’t put our finger on what it was that made it seem like crossing the road was so hard there, but then it dawned on us: the buttons you press to cross as a pedestrian actually work. Most places it seems the little stick figures go green and red for pedestrians (supposedly), even if nobody’s waiting. But in Launceston, you actually have to press the button, otherwise you miss your chance! And even if you do press the button, you only get like 2 seconds of green, and then it’s back to flashing red. Go on then you dirty pedestrian, we rego-payers are waiting for you to get out of our way!

Other than that though, the trip netted a few interesting espresso experiences! I’ll link to each of their brief reviews here:

• Amelia Espresso review
• Sweetbrew review
• Bryher review
• Prince’s Square Bar review
• They didn’t serve any coffee, but special mention for the Libation Lounge — for the name alone they deserve a medal. It’s a cosy 2nd story bar on Brisbane St, with a few comfortable chairs, a nice view, and chill music. Another pet hate of mine is loud bars, and this one definitely got top marks for non-loudness.

That’s all for now! Back to regular programming soon — expect more Melbourne-based espresso reviews!